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Everything sucks forever

I dedicate this blog to one of my best friends, Scott, to whom the worst things happen. This is a continuously augmented archive of the quotes that define his life.
Mar 5 '11


  • Kaylee: "Not my fault I like knowing things about smart, attractive men. Hence I know nothing about you. Zing."
  • Scott: "Heard better insults from more attractive girls. Counter zing."
  • Kaylee: "Counter counter zing: yeah but those were 'girls' online. Probably some 50-year-old creep in Walla Walla."
  • Scott: "He was from Seattle! And still better looking than you. Better shape, too. Trip-counter zing."
  • Kaylee: "Didn't have my boobs or wit. Or is willing to talk to you at any given time. QUADZING."
  • Scott: "Like your boobs are even that good. And wit is so easy even I can do it. It's also as easy as you. FATALI-ZING."
  • Kaylee: "Oh that's right! You're so right. My boobs are nothing compared to yours. ZINGZINGZINGZINGZING."
  • Scott: "Damn moobshake brings all the boys to the yard. While yours do nothing but fill them with sorrow and blue balls. Z.I.N.G."
  • Kaylee: "Well my ass is constantly being complimented. That Emimen song 'Ass Like That' is about me. Girls and guys want it. Septzing."
  • Scott: "The reason he ain't never seen an ass like that is because he goes blind from horror when you drop your panties."